Updated: Jan 18
I have several students with important auditions coming up. Now that I am working towards my audition, I am able to really get into their heads and feel what they are feeling. After all the hard work of the summer and last few weeks, I think everyone is beginning to wonder if it is really worth it. All my students are beginning to fade. That fiery spirit they were filled with at the beginning of the process is being replaced with a tired, overwhelmed feeling. They are constantly wondering if they are good enough. One of my students is preparing for her auditions at the Conservatory. She is entering the preprofessional world of music and is really asking herself if she is good enough. I look at her and I want to hug her and say, of course you are good enough!! As long as you are willing to practice your tuckus off and are willing to be open to whatever opportunities come your way....you will make it. (even in music) My student has worked so diligently this summer. She has learned an obscene amount of music in order to prepare for these ridiculous auditions. She has listened to multiple recordings, written in rhythms, asked all the right questions....she has worked very hard. Now with a week left...I want her to work on her mind and her heart more than anything. The relationship that she is building with her music is the most important aspect of her journey. When she walks onto the stage at the conservatory, she will have no control over the outcome. Even if she nailed everything, she may be up against graduate students that have been given preference. The fact is, the first lesson she will learn while going to the conservatory is about auditioning. How she approaches this process will determine how she will cope with the ups and downs of being a musician. She is learning so much right now and is very vulnerable. She will also have to go through all the stress and worry that all of us do. But I hope she can keep perspective. This audition will be the first of many and as they progress she will achieve more and more with each try. I talked to her about what she can control at this point. I want her to think about her deep love of music. The relationship she has had with making music since she was a young student. Her world of music is opening up. She will be meeting new composers and new pieces in the next few months,,,,making new life long friends. It is my hope that as she is standing there in her audition, she is kind to herself. I hope she takes and deep breathe and lives in the moment. She can't determine what they will think of her and her playing. She can't control whether that run will go exactly as she wants it to...but what she can do is breathe and feel the love of the music that she is playing. She can get lost in the music. Auditions will come and go. Teachers will come and go. What will stay is that music stand in front of her with that gorgeous music that she will be playing through out her life. Mozart's Concerto in G will see her through college, through professional auditions, she might play it during happy times in her life...when her baby is kicking to the music, or after tremendous loss. But that music will stay with her. Jobs will come and go...it is the music that is constant in our lives. It doesn't matter what happens, all that matters is our love of the music. Let us fill ourselves with each character we are trying to create. Try and transmit the emotions that the composer is trying to convey. By getting lost in the music, we are forgetting all the things that we cannot control. Those voices that tell us we aren't good enough. Keep working towards the goal of playing that music the best you can...life will do the rest.